It is insane when people make you feel guilty for looking after your family and children.
In today’s story, a woman gets her sister’s abusive boyfriend arrested because it wasn’t safe to have him around children.
Now there’s a lot of drama between the sisters!
Check out the full story…
34F here. I’ve been married to my husband John for five years now and we have two daughters together (3F and 1F).
I’ll preface this by saying that I had a tough childhood.
My father was an abusive alcoholic who was violent with my mother, myself, and my two little sisters.
She wants things to be different for her children…
He passed away when I was in my early twenties, and as horrible as it sounds, I was hopeful it would allow my mom and sisters to have better lives.
From the time I was young, I knew I never wanted to be in such a vulnerable situation again. I focused on my career (I’m a lawyer now) and married a sweet, dependable man who comes a kind and functional family.
I want my girls to have happy childhoods and to never feel unsafe in their home.
Lisa made bad choices…
Sadly, my youngest sister Lisa (29F) went in the opposite direction. Her only goal in life is to marry rich so she doesn’t have to work and can stay home with her future kids.
The issue is she chooses the worst guys.
Her high school boyfriend was controlling, her next boyfriend was physically abusive, and her current boyfriend Ian topped the last one by putting her in the ER twice.
She’s worried Lisa will see Ian again.
The first time Lisa ended up in the ER, she told me she was leaving Ian. I got a call from her a few weeks later telling me they had reconciled and she was back in the ER. Again, she told me she’d leave.
I was hopeful, but skeptical.
The prosecutor’s office is brining charges against Ian, but Lisa doesn’t want to testify, so they subpoenaed her.
I told Lisa she could prevent him from harming someone else by being honest about what happened, but she said she felt for Ian because he had a bad childhood and wants to change.
I know Ian is out on bail but can’t legally have any communication with my sister, but I was worried they’d see each other anyway.
Ian showed up at her daughter’s birthday party…
My daughter’s third birthday was earlier this week. My husband and I had a birthday party for her at our home earlier today with our families, close friends, and some of her friends from preschool.
I was enjoying myself, when I saw Lisa holding hands with Ian in my own backyard.
I was going to confront him, but my husband told me it would escalate things.
She called the cops…
I ended up taking my girls upstairs and calling the cops. I explaining that he violated the court order and was at my home with my sister and a house full of children.
The cops came and arrested Ian, and my sister started screaming that I drive drunk with my kids all the time so they should arrest me too.
To be clear, I would never do this.
I told my sister to leave, and we ended the party early.
I was sad for my daughter and also humiliated this happened in front of her friends, their parents, and my in-laws.
Her mom is taking Lisa’s side…
I also feel immense guilt that I invited children to my home, and they were exposed to a violent predator.
My mother stayed behind after everyone left and screamed at me for calling the police.
I explained I didn’t know what else to do because there was a predator in my home, around a bunch of innocent children. I would have never invited Lisa if I knew she was going to bring him.
My mom said that he hurt Lisa, not children.
I said that abusive boyfriends take their anger out on bystanders all the time. I told my mom I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Lisa for putting my children in that position.
She told me I should be trying to help my sister through a difficult time rather than turning my back on her.
Finally some support…
My MIL ended up coming back about an hour after I left the party. She’s a former prosecutor, and was upset about the situation.
She said she was fearful that Ian knows where I live, especially now that I called the police on him. She said that we should stay with them if he gets out on bail until things cool down.
I thanked my MIL, and told her about the conversation with my mom.
She agreed with me, and said Lisa put my family and all the children at that party in a dangerous situation.
She just wants to do what’s right…
I want to be clear that I have sympathy for Lisa and hate that she’s in this position. With that being said, I can’t risk my children’s safety because I feel sorry for what she’s going through.
She put my kids in danger after I worked so hard to try and give them a happy, safe childhood. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive her.
AITAH for calling the cops and am I overreacting?
Geez! Why can’t Lisa see how bad this man is for her? It’s insane she is blaming her sister!
Let’s find out what folks on Reddit have to say about this.
That’s right! This user blames it on the mom!
This user thinks the sister has destructive qualities.
This user knows that this woman can’t have a regular relationship with this sister.
This user knows how things end up in abusive households…
This user suggests maintaining distance from the mother and the sister.
However painful, she needs to stay away from her toxic family.