At the beginning of the year, this 37-year-old man’s 34-year-old wife filed for divorce. They were married for 12 years and attended counseling together in an effort to fix things between them.
He still loves his wife, but she confessed that she fell out of love with him three years back.
Their marriage counselor suggested that they separate in March since nothing they had tried was working for them.
The separation was intended to show them another side of their marriage, but it didn’t exactly accomplish that at all.
“I ended up moving out of the house, and quite honestly, I was much happier living by myself,” he explained.
He mentioned to his wife that he would not be filing for divorce, but if she preferred to do that, it was fine by him.
She filed in May, and he wasn’t surprised since their separation wasn’t helping them magically want to come back together.
His wife asked for full custody of their daughters, their home, her car, six figures in alimony, and $4,000 a month in child support.
“My wife doesn’t work since she’s a full-time stay-at-home mom,” he said. “I was never going to leave her without anything, but it sort of hurt me that she would try to get all those things, knowing well that I would have barely anything left afterward.”
Their lawyers have been going back and forth ever since, trying to come to an agreement, and he has hardly spoken to his wife except for topics that pertain to their girls.
Yesterday evening, his wife invited him to get dinner with her, as she wanted to discuss something with him.
They met up at a restaurant, and he was surprised when his wife said she really wanted to back out of the divorce she filed for since she wanted another chance at their marriage.
“Her reasoning was that she was in a dark place before, and now she understands that she was the problem,” he added.
“She took 100 percent responsibility for our problems, which is very out of character for her. Ever since I’ve known her, she doesn’t apologize like ever. She also said that our daughters missed us living together, which I guess is true.”
“After dinner, she wanted to come back to my place, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea. I told her that I would have to think about it.”
“She started crying and begging me to come back. Eventually, she calmed down, and we went our separate ways.”
If his wife had asked to get back together with him months ago, he would have jumped at the opportunity for reconciliation.
However, with the divorce dragging on, he’s hesitating. He knows his wife has gone on dates with other guys, as he found out from a mutual friend, but he hasn’t moved on, as their divorce isn’t complete.
To be honest, he likes being single with just him and his daughters (they live with him mainly as that’s their preference).
“Ideally, I would like to save this marriage for the sake of my daughters and the love for my wife, but at the same time, I don’t want to try again just to waste time ending up in our current situation again,” he continued.
What advice do you have for him?
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