"[She screeched] at me that I was 'the devil.'"
Recently, I decided to ask Gen Z women to tell me what things, positive or negative, about older women they "just don't understand." I got back a lot of answers — some frustrating, some humorous, some sweet — so, here are some of the best:
1. "I don't understand why they don't love themselves more. I look up to some older women in my life, as they've faced hard shit and still have the courage to live another day."
2. "Older women, what is it about Lin Manuel Miranda that you love so much? I know he's an incredible composer. But let's be real, his singing and acting are OK. Why are we so obsessed with him?"
—Anonymous
3. "I'm a younger Gen Z, and it would probably be how older women just shrug and move on when facing obstacles like their periods."
4. "[I don't understand] why some older women [are] rude and entitled towards service industry workers."
"I could say the same thing about every generation... I think we see people outside of our cohort and their actions in a different way than we see our own. And I also think that respect (well, the showing of it, not the feeling of it) has changed significantly in the last 20 years."
5. "I don't understand how older women don't realize that Gen Z and millennial mothers have to hover over their kids far more than the Gen X and boomer mothers who sent their kids out to play alone until the streetlights came on. Parenting then is NOT the same mental and physical 'burden' as it is now."
—Anonymous
6. "I simply can’t imagine how they can bear to put up with so much crap from their husbands!"
"The other day, I was at the salon, and there was a friendly older gal there who I started talking to. She revealed that she was there to get her bikini wax. I was like, 'Cool.' Then she disclosed that she only did it because it was her husband’s request!
I was shocked and asked why she didn’t decline if it wasn’t her cup of tea. She said, 'He’s just so immature about it.' She didn’t seem to be in a dangerous or abusive situation, but married to a misogynist man-child. I proposed that she get a divorce. She just shook her head. How does she DO it? How do others in similar situations?"
—Anonymous
7. "[I feel like older women] don’t give grace to younger women. They expect you to know all the life lessons as if they weren’t young once… and they expect you to have it all figured out."
8. "I fail to understand many of their haircuts."
—Anonymous
9. "The meddling in their children's love lives. I know many women who have done a lot of damage to their children's relationships, even broken them up, by giving too much unsolicited advice."
—Anonymous
10. "Why do you all like such doofy Instagram reels? I'm talking about boomers specifically here. What is the comedic appeal? I don't get it."
—Anonymous
11. "Why do [older women] constantly refuse help? My grandma could literally be about to trip on a stair or something and will not let me help at all. 😭"
"Pride, [and] not wanting to feel like a burden or that you're getting older... [There are] many reasons to refuse help."
12. "I don't get the uptight attitude that older women get in regards to children. A lot of them have had children of their own, and lament about days gone by when kids would play outside and be 'off their dang phones...'"
"But they turn around and call the cops and post nonstop on Facebook and Nextdoor about 'delinquents' cutting through their yards, biking in the neighborhood streets, or skateboarding on sidewalks. You know, normal kid stuff.
I saw in the three hours I had Nextdoor downloaded that the same woman was making different complaints over and over again. She scolded others for playing music on their porch on the weekends, for walking their dogs in front of her house, for kids using sidewalk chalk... nothing was right unless everything was just the way she wanted.
Honestly, it was hard to watch. Her posts were mere hours or minutes apart, for weeks and months. Just complaining endlessly about the world continuing to turn."
13. "As a retail worker, a lot of older women (and men if we’re being candid) expect me to bend over backward and do the impossible to convenience them."
"For example: We’re a small store, and we don’t have a public restroom, nor do we need to have one due to the nature of our business. The one bathroom we do have is past inventory, the safe, and electrical supplies.
I’ve only let a couple people back there, ever. One was my boyfriend, the other was a cop. If I let just anyone back there, they could cause a problem and I could lose my job."
"I had a middle-aged woman screech at me that I was 'the devil' for not letting her in the back just because she had to pee."
"I advised her to try the restaurant next door, and she still attempted to get past the counter and into the back area.
I had to call the police to get her and her doubly verbally abusive friend out of the store. I’ve never had such a problem with older adults or the young who have asked me for the same thing."
14. "I don’t know if this is all older women, but in my view, they’re always buying things."
"They constantly get stuff they don’t need and it just sits in their households forever. Examples: the Stanley Cup craze, makeup they won’t use, and shoes they won’t wear. It totally feels like capitalism and consumerism culture gets to them. I only buy stuff when I need it and I wait for there to be a deal on stuff I need."
"Oh, I’m a Gen X woman and thought that was a Gen Z thing, so now I’m totally confused. I do not own a Stanley Cup. I also don’t get the pitting generations against each other, and for some reason, Generation X gets left out."
15. "Why are [older women] so angry all the time? It feels like it takes so much energy to keep that level of anger and hatred up. It also feels like they believe everyone in the world is incompetent or out to get them."
"Just wait until you hit 35. You’ll be angry too."
"We are angry because we have become invisible. Our years of education and experience count for nothing since we have grey hair, thick waistlines, and faces creased by time."
16. "This doesn't apply to all older women, but why are so many of them complicit in their own oppression? Many older, conservative women I know are okay with and even approve of keeping women in the kitchen [and] preventing women's career advances."
"It often saddens me how readily some older women will accept their own maltreatment, especially from spouses and loved ones."
17. "As women, regardless of age, we're all still being taught we have to be perfect if anyone will take us seriously and that it's best to keep your head down and push through whatever might be going on in your life. It's an impossible standard we have learned to hold ourselves to."
18. "I don't understand why they hate younger women so much."
"I don't hate younger women. I feel that I should protect and mentor them so they can rise in ways I could not."
19. And finally: "My loves, please know that the first stereotype that comes into your head when you think about 'older women' is simply your biggest fear about what you might grow up into."
"Which is okay, and natural, and teaches you something about yourself, but please remember it doesn’t necessarily have any basis in reality — how could it, when 'older women' is a vague category that could span 50 years and four generations, [and] infinite religions, backgrounds, education, and socioeconomic levels?
You don’t have to end up like any woman you have ever met."